Released 2003

All words and music written by Andy Doran

Golden Gun

Send in the clowns because I need to feel better. I just fell down when I opened the letter. Why does it have to be this way. Up and down and every other way. Something in my personality isn’t quite what it’s meant to be. I’m freaking out at triviality. As welcome as a golden gun to the head. I’m such a slob, I can’t go through the motions. So I open my gob and just swallow the potions. Why does it never work at all. I’m just so fed up with alcohol. Something in my personality isn’t quite what it’s meant to be. I’m freaking out at triviality. As welcome as a golden gun to the head. Is it safer in my bed? Is it safe to drink the water? Is it safe to be dead? Am I right to presume that its safe to write a tune ,when it falls into a vacuum, will I follow it too ?

Wishbone

I found a wishbone, it could be anything. Now it’s found a new home and yes this changes everything. Yesterday I was the kind of person your mother enjoyed, but now I’m just a freak you cross the street to avoid. Well my luck ran out today, okay? Well you’re looking at the scratches and checking the stains, but it’s just not what it looks like, so let me explain. I was trying to feed the cat, when the dog complained. Now you’re open minded so let’s hide our doubts away. Just take a look what I did, and you’ll know we’re going to be okay. Because I found a wishbone, it could be anything. Now it’s found a new home and yes this changes everything. Well I’ve got no more excuses and my memory has leaked. And I’ve got no more protection. I’ve got no mystique. And the money tree is dead. Oh no! Well I don’t know where the day went and I don’t know the time. And I don’t know what your things are, or what things are mine. Well at least we’ve got each other, or something or other.

Northern Casanova

Seems like I’ve gone too far on the back seat of your car. Just as the seats were getting warm, you lit that cigarette and pushed me out the door. “Darling is it over so soon?” I never even showed you my northern casanova, buy I’m sure you’ll have to kill me if I do. Seems like I’m out of luck, as another messenger passes me the book. On a good day this wouldn’t be a bad thing but today it’s written in arabic or something. Darling I don’t want to let you down but I just don’t understand it, cos I’m just a verbal bandit, but I know you will demand it anyhow. “Darling is it over so soon ?” We never even made it to the moon. I never even told you about my secret plans to clone you but I’ll surely have to kill you if I do.

Run While You’ve Still Got Your Legs

When the world and his wife and his mother-in-law, are hanging around at the front of your door. And all that protects you is more than the job can afford. There’s always the gate at the back of the house, swinging as if to say: “Don’t make me beg because I’m open for business, so run while you’ve still got your legs”. There’s only one way out of here, so don’t be afraid of the easy escape. Attrition is well out this year so, run while you’ve still got your legs, run while your neck’s still attached to your head. I know it’s unkind but you might just survive till the summertime. You’re waiting for something to change everything, hoping the genie will jump out the tin. But none of your dreams will be sold if they never begin. There’s only one way out of this, and if you think it’s a fight then you’re taking the piss. Attrition is well out this year so, run while you’ve still got your legs, run while your neck’s still attached to your head. I know it’s unkind but you might just survive till the summertime.

Strange Kind of Fiction

She settles down in the bedroom. She lives her life through a book. It’s taken years to accomplish this. Now she’s too happy to fumble. But he’s a gentleman of leisure and he’s got his share of reading pleasure. What kind of fiction are we writing here ? What kind of life is this scene ? She likes her books to be hard and full. He likes his special magazines. He moves his gaze to the classified and stopped on page twenty three. Wild dominatrix for pleasure. Just telephone and ask for me. And so he dialled it discreetly with her in the next room answering sweetly. What kind of things would you like me to do? and I’ll tell you how much I’ll bill you. What kind of voice are you speaking through? it just seems a little familiar. What kind of weirdo are you turning into? You can’t be trusted on your own. What kind of love are you currently into? But didn’t you pick up the phone? I thought we just had a conflict of interest. We never talk in our home. We’re just so close that it just seems like incest and that’s too close to the bone.

Fabricated Loony Commune

The grass don’t grow and the kids don’t smoke in this town. The dogs don’t mate and the hens don’t lay in this town. There’s a virus i​n the house and I don’t know of a soul that’s immune. I don’t know what to do in a fabricated loony commune. Oh this town ain’t big enough for 25,000,000 of us. Oh this town sucks the souls of the people on the magical bus. The demons are alive in the tunnels and the mines of this town and everywhere I go there’s a big black hole to fall down. I can’t see one two way street in this town. I can’t hear for the buzzing in my ears. I can’t stand this horrible ominous sound.

The Suspect List

We’ve got a situation, we’ve got a mad old fish. He’s got a wild imagination, he’s got a suspect list. Well he treats you with hospitality, then analyses the way that you sip your tea, and before you know it you’re down on the suspect list. Okay! He sent an invitation with an R.S.V.P. yeah! I sent my note of acceptance, I signed my name A.D. yeah! Well he studied my letter so carefully, to analyse the way that I write my C’s and before you know it I’m down on the suspect list. Come on now, come and meet the outside. I’m daring you to leave the house. Come on you can do it, you can’t be that stupid. You stare in terror at the outside world. I took him over to a hostel. I bought a couple of beers. He said “I’m ever so grateful” but I could see the fear. Well he looked down into the glass and said “You’ll try to poison me till I drop down dead” and before you know it I’m down on the suspect list.

Yesterday’s News

How can I be strong when you’re tearing down the walls that support me? How can I move on when you’re closing all the doors that confront me? How can I contest when I’m such a bloody mess ? But there’s something that you missed, so just ask yourself this… How come you’re so amused when you say I’m just yesterday’s news? How can I sit up when you’re pulling out the chair from beneath me? How can I erupt when​ I’m fighting for a life of tranquility? How can I complain when I’m so vain? Let’s both get in the frame and just do it again. How come you’re so amused when you say I’m just yesterday’s news? How can I get down when I’ve got to sit up straight to be clever? How can I give up when I’m nearly over halfway to heaven? How can resist when you’re standing on my wrist? How do you optimise such a natural pessimist? How come you’re so amused when you say I’m just yesterday’s news? How come you’re so amused when you say I’m just yesterday’s news? How come you’re so amused when you say I’m just yesterday’s news?