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Released 2002

All words and music written by Andy Doran

Bass guitar on The Mind Laboratory, Billy Comes Home, Bomb, A Friend for Life by Neil Wignall

The Mind Laboratory

One giant leap for astral education. Just one step backwards is all that you need to love, respect and shag your situation. A glance from a distance will help you to see that every boy’s a star, every girl’s a genius. Come on now step down into the mind lab. Every girl’s a star, every boy’s a genius. Come on now step down into the mind laboratory. My freaks and fears of finally growing older. The mild unawareness of how bad you smell evaporate with every wire I solder. I walk up the hill so that no-one can tell. Oh you’re so beautiful and I know that you don’t understand that I’m with you every step of the way. If you flood out the tears I’ll just build a dam. You’re so beautiful. I’ve got the only photograph. I’ll bring it round to make you laugh again.

100 Miles or More

Jesse James would kiss your face if he could see what your hands are holding. Do you think it’s fun to handle a gun when you’ve got no co-ordination going. You’ve got me looking like some kind of freak show. You lock me up and pretend you’ve got a peep show. Another stint am I just another gimp? I’m going down in the ground where I’ll never be found. I’m going down there, 100 miles or more. Dig a hole on down, 100 miles or more. I never learn, I crumble and burn, I’ve got ideas well above my station. Now Jules Verne would have him a turn If he could see my destination. You’ve got me looking like some kind of mooncat. You wake me up just to give me little nightcaps. I’ve got a hunch that you’re having me for lunch. I’m going down in the ground where I’ll never be found.

Shopping For Religion

So once again I telephone the devil’s estate. Please leave a message was all he could say. It’s a familiar line, I should have turned to God. I went about my business in the usual way but someone’s at the door and the voices say Jehovah welcomes you and have a very nice day. At a time of my life when I question every thing, I don’t mind strong ambition oh but really what are you going to sell me today? Now what have you done to us when you need a badge to reserve your place in heaven? When the choice is clear, how come I’m still here out shopping for religion. And I don’t know how and I don’t know why. And I don’t know who’s going to be that godly spirit in the sky. So another representative has left me perplexed. Spread it all around but you mustn’t have sex. It’s a different combination every day. So don’t eat the red meat, don’t eat the white meat, kill a swine, drink the wine, but don’t hurt the animals. All this don’t add up to anything.

Billy Comes Home

Billy comes home, I’ve been waiting for so many years to find a reason to ride back home. It’s been a long time and these houses and haircuts and horrorbags I hardly would have recognised. I call up my friend and he tells me his wondrous adventures in financial investment went wrong, but I’m all right Jack I hate to say, I’ve got no money but I’m happy this way so hey hey! Oh dear what have I done? I had an idea and took the money and ran…
…into a brick wall. These goofs are bigger than me. These goofs are better than me. These goofs have friends in high places

Bomb

I’m chancing it now, because time is behind me. Your candles are burnt and your friends are all gone. Don’t you think I don’t know that I could be lying? Convincing myself that it’s still not a con. But you are the one that’ll see my demise so I beg you to tell me it straight. Because you are the one that’ll witness the bomb as my ticking gets louder each day. So whatever you do, don’t let me lean on that fuse. So whatever you do, don’t get those wires confused.

Sharkbite

She took the boat and sailed away. Won’t be back again. Held her destination right till the end. Crested the waves in open sky. Looking back with a smile
Then cut loose the anchor and drifted for miles. Sharkbite, she falls in the ocean again. Sharkbite, she’s floundering, fighting to swim. She’s not gone for she’s swimming up to the sun. A sanctuary full of our love. From one to another’s son to his mother’s sharkbite of love again. I found the boat, it was still just afloat and it painted a picture of life. We’re all drowning from the day we accept it’s the price. Truly I must relate. We’re all drowning from the day we accept our decline.

Chased By a Cow

What a colourful day, the skies are blue and the sun is a shining. I’ve woken up with a start, and I can think of only twenty reasons why not, to live alone. I’ve never quite felt like this before, so loosen your noose, find an excuse, to welcome this fantastic day. I’m getting chased by a cow, but I can run over a thousand miles. I’m sure I don’t look the part but I can only think of thirty reasons why not, to live alone, I’ve never felt quite like this before, so loosen your noose, find an excuse, to welcome this fantastic day. Don’t ask me how, I’ve never even thought about it. Don’t ask me how, I just seem to attract the cows. What a colourful day. The skies are blue and the sun is a shining. I’ve woken up with a start, and I can think of over forty reasons why not, to live alone, I’ve never felt quite like this before, so why not, break the law. I’ve never felt quite like this before.

The Man From the County Court

A question of legends corroding and upending me again. You watch up and down, etching a frown on your face again. This night wasn’t meant to work out as it went. If it’s a question of time then I’m back on the starting line again. The stars are out, the table laid, the man from the county court got paid, but I never wanted you to be so unhappy here, with me.

Rational Behaviour

Oh this is crap, I’ve heard it all before. That’s what you said as you clearly through my records on the floor. And all I could think of to say was don’t judge a book by its cover or some other dull cliché I showed you paintings by Escher. You laughed and said you could do better. I’m so glad you’re my rational friend. I’ll bow down to your wisdom from this day till the end. I don’t care what you say, I’m not listening anyway and it’ll take much more than a nuclear war to blow you away. This guy’s a schmuck. You said he’s unwell, pointing at the book by H.G.Wells. I said that he’s worse than unwell, cos he’s dead. Don’t you read inside your padded little cell ? I played you songs by Ray Davies. You said the Kinks have been doing stuff like that for ages. So here we are with nothing to see cos nothing gets past your credibility. One day when they empty your mind, they’ll be surprised at the junk they find. And when this song gets a slating, you’ll say I should have always listened to your ratings. I’m so glad your my rational friend. I’ll bow down to your wisdom from this day till the end. I don’t care what you say, I’m not listening anyway and it’ll take much more than a nuclear war to blow you away.

A Friend For Life

Well I talk to the animals day after day and together we figure it out. Yeah we meet by the bramble bush down by the stream and discuss their concerns and their doubts. Well I don’t know what I’m looking for but it sure don’t have two legs. This is no sad sorry metaphor. This is no sad soft pretence. These are the creatures above and beyond my integrity, forging ahead when the corporates are dead. Once the sun’s up, we’ll meet by the river and once we’re tooled up, we’ll stand and deliver, going to leave their cold confusion far behind. But who needs a gun or a military base, I want a friend for life, with just the one face, going to leave their comprehension far behind. Well I walk with the animals mile after mile and together we strike up a deal. We don’t hound or harass, we don’t mimic or grass, we just happily graze in the fields. Well I don’t know what I’m looking for but it sure don’t speak your language. With a trusty silent herbivore, you can live without such anguish.