The grass don’t grow and the kids don’t smoke in this town The dogs don’t mate and the hens don’t lay in this town There’s a virus i​n the house and I don’t know of a soul that’s immune I don’t know what to do in a fabricated loony commune Oooh this town ain’t big enough for 25,000,000 of us …

She settles down in the bedroom She lives her life through a book It’s taken years to accomplish this Now she’s too happy to fumble But he’s a gentleman of leisure And he’s got his share of reading pleasure What kind of fiction are we writing here ? What kind of life is this scene ? She likes her books …

When the world and his wife and his mother-in-law Are hanging around at the front of your door And all that protects you is more than the job can afford There’s always the gate at the back of the house Swinging as if to say Don’t make me beg Cos I’m open for business, so run while you’ve still got …

Seems like I’ve gone too far On the back seat of your car Just as the seats were getting warm You lit that cigarette and pushed me out the door Darling is it over so soon ? I never even showed you my northern casanova Buy I’m sure you’ll have to kill me if I do Seems like I’m out …

I’ve found a wishbone It could be anything Now it’s found a new home Yes this changes everything Yesterday I was the kind of person your mother enjoyed But now I’m just a freak you cross the street to avoid Oh my luck ran out today. OK? Well you’re looking at the scratches and checking the stains But it’s just …

Send in the clowns Cos I need to feel better I just fell down when I opened the letter Why does it have to be this way Up and down and every other way Something in my personality Isn’t quite what it’s meant to be I’m freaking out at triviality As welcome as a golden gun to the head I’m …